The Bearer

SAM_0081 (640x480)

I am the Bearer of this beautiful gift.

Cuddling it safely in between my arms, nourishing it with pure love, cherishing it with happiness, caring it with good memories until it is delivered before the world to see.

Every day, it’s getting heavier and heavier. Every day, it’s getting tighter and tighter. And every day, I can feel its movement at the slightest prick of its vein. It’s enchanting. Am I worthy as the Bearer?

Though it’s still hiding…I can feel its power and might. Its —

Wasn’t able to finish this piece.. The flow of my thoughts suddenly freeze…

Blank Spaces

blank spaces are not always dull, sometimes they come in colors :-)

blank spaces are not always dull, sometimes they come in colors :-)

I am in a vacuum, seeing a blank space. In this blank space lies a tiny dot which leads me through the infinite and into the unknown.

 

A blank canvass.

An empty box.

A hollow bone.

 

At this spot, I have the best vantage point of my whole universe.  It’s like I am on top of it watching its cycle as it unfolds its might in every turn.

 

Know.

Understand.

Accept.

Discern.

 

Get up and walk away.

Walk away? Yes! But, before that, I have to break away from my shell. I need to free myself from fears and from the blaring words of anonymity.  For, I need to see not with my eyes but with my heart.  Because  in my heart, there lies my passion.  A passion to take that first step away from my comfort zone and a courage to dare the unknown.

Staring at blank spaces is not bad after all.

TODAY

serene waters calm my soul

serene waters calm my soul

Does the moon look back from the West when it appears in the East?

Will a star still reminisce the glow it emitted after it radiates its spark?  How important is looking back from yesterday when your facing today?

When I look back I see scars, I see faded memories, I see withered flowers, I see decaying branches, I see corroding dikes, I see old photos hanging on a wall, I see worn-out jeans. But then, I also remember the blossoming,   the peak of the radiant sun before it sets in the West, the robust greens displaying their fat veins boastfully in the meadows I once sat at, the height of the waves before they calm at dusk and the muscles that once know nothing about pain, a maximum endurance to reach the highest peak of the land. It’s like there is no limit to what one can do. But, wait a minute, am I misled that I associated ‘yesterday’ from old age? It’s not right!

I also have this notion that the past maybe the climax of everything, but now I contest, for how will I determine that crowning moment if I don’t know how far have I traveled from my life’s journey.

But, do I really have to look back? To see the path I was once traveled?  To measure the distance I left behind? To be reminded that I took that first step?  Why do I have to worry about the past anyway? There’s nothing I can do anymore.  If I want to go back,  will I be able to change it?  The best thing I could do right now is to turn the pages of my history and I hope that we are  on the same page.

So what’s with TODAY?  TODAY I vow to devote myself into growth like a cactus living in an arid desert with no rain and a lot of sunshine, with no moisture, alienated from the green meadows yet it can produce beautiful flowers amid the adversities it endures every day.

TODAY, is the last the day I stop worrying on things that are surreal and focus on things I can touch.  I will not be burdened by the fictitious stories on someone else dream even if it pierces my heart a million times because of their untruthfulness, for, my God knows who I am  and it is HE whom I only owe my explanation.  It is HE who created me thus, it is only HE who will judge me.

And TODAY, I will be like a Jasmine flower growing in the wild, creeping some rocks, climbing some walls just to unfurl its scent in the sky.  Wild, isolated yet beauty resides in its heart.

Nook

SAM_2813

found this stray cat outside our trailer when i visited Naga last February.

Nook.

The  only friend I have when I want to dwell in the dark especially when I want to ponder on things I don’t comprehend.    When all in my mind are ‘whys’ and the only answer I got is,  ‘I don’t know’.

I may either succumb into your misleading reconciliation or I may choose to stand and raise for the light by my window.  Though your offer of peace is priceless (for the meantime), my mind seek a lending ear to hear my crying soul.

Yes.

For, it’s hard to dream of touching the stars when you know you can only gaze at them and you can only see them at night time.   Its like catching fishes in the ocean with bare hands or playing darts which is lighter than the wind.

Nook.

For the meantime, I will abide by your rules, sit still in your corner and muse on the things I want to understand.   I will bow down to your mighty power and try to see the things I  don’t usually see in the light.

Nook.

You will never be a foe at times when my mind seek a ceasefire from its fighting thoughts.

Nook.  My friend!

The Tiny Bean

SAM_2816 (640x480)

sitting inside a half cocoon :P

I think I need a little courage to begin something new. A little courage to take that first step into a world different from where i used to live. But, will I dare to step into a world hanging above the growling sea where thunder and lightning dance in unison with the gust of the waves?

I may choose to dwell inside my cocoon. A cocoon weaved in a magical thread that no evil spell could penetrate.  A cocoon which was molded into a shape which could deceive any monsters of the earth and regard it as one of its kind. The best camouflage inside a world of devouring beasts.

But then, I may also choose to dance and hop from twigs to twigs leaving my nest behind.  Not minding the eagles and vultures which are hungry and looking for fresh meats, I will close my eyes and sing carelessly with the wind.  For, my ears don’t mind their beastly chirp nor my feet don’t tremble with their sharp deadly claws.  That strong!

But,

I think I’m beginning to get numb and be carefree like a child climbing on stairs with a feeding bottle on his right hand and a stuff toy on his left.  Balance may not be his friend, small slippery feet may be his enemy but his faith and determination in climbing the stairs is his armor.

Yes, I choose to be this tiny bean living inside a dark pouch which has a heart that pumps like a festive drum in a feast fits for the gods; excited to get out and greet the eagles and the vultures lurking outside its world. A tiny bean which has a cheerful vine and robust greens standing tall with the sun.